


A Man Behind the Mask

by imaginary_witness



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternative Universe - Canon, Drama, Ereni, Incomplete, M/M, Mystery, Romance, mystery romance, request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 06:29:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14785274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginary_witness/pseuds/imaginary_witness
Summary: Eren can't begin to understand why he reacts to the Corporal the way he does. Words tumble past his lips, his limbs react on their own. He finds himself as a complete fool. But he always had a fascination with the Survey Corps, so to everyone he knows, he's just idolizing a childhood hero. Does the Corporal even notice how he behaves? More importantly, does the Corporal even care? (In Progress)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ratings: PG/T  
> Warnings: None.  
> Genre: Drama, Mystery, Romance  
> Originally Posted: January 23, 2016 (Fanfiction.net)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.
> 
> Author's Notes: Requested. First SnK piece. I'm still new to the characters and the settings. I want to say that of course this is going to go sideways from the actual story, this is a piece of fanfiction. I hope you all enjoy.
> 
> Reviews always welcome.

Chapter 1:

There was a drip.

He turned his head, trying to keep his body relaxed.

Drip.

There is went again.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

There was definitely a drip.

The sound bothered him. It wasn't unsettling, just annoying. And the longer he counted it, the more awake he realized he had become.

"Not again." He moaned, sitting up to hold his head.

It was the third night in a row he had woken because of that damned drip. He had gazed around all day yesterday trying to pinpoint exactly where it was coming from, but to no avail.

Drip.

"Argh!"

"What are you shouting about?"

The voice was velvet soft. And closer than it usually was.

"Nothing." Eren hissed in a reply, his frustration causing him to misbehave.

"Then shut up."

The voice had drawn back. Eren squinted his eyes in the low firelight that was just beyond the cell entrance, but he could only make out a pair of crossed legs in white trousers. He could tell from the voice just who was seated there, but it bothered him that he would sit just so that he was in the shadows. Eren wasn't sure if he was doing it just to seem mysterious or if Corporal Levi wanted to make a physical statement about not wanting to talk to him.

"Go back to sleep."

Eren resisted rolling his eyes. He hadn't disobeyed anyone while in the cell, but he had already lost track of how many nights he had spent there.

Shifting so that he could nestle down into the bed, he attempted to try his luck for some more sleep. From the window he could tell that it was just before dawn. He pulled up the blanket, closed his eyes, and began to lull himself to sleep with his usual pre-dream setup: a battle field, wide as the eye could see, scattered with many smoking, headless, titan bodies. All of them, dead. All of them.

Drip.

Eren sat up and growled.

"What now?"

The voice was irritated.

Eren immediately felt embarrassed. He must look like a child in front of the Corporal, acting so rudely and behaving so irrationally.

"That drip," he began, in an attempt to gain back some of his dignity. "It's bothering me."

To his surprise, the Corporal chuckled.

"That drip has been here for years. No one has found it yet."

The way the man talked seemed to taunt Eren. It was as if he was challenging him, reminding him of being just another number.

"Doesn't it bother you?"

"Yes."

"I," Eren frowned and looked down, grabbing a fistful of the blanket in his hand. "I'm having trouble falling asleep because of it."

"I'm on orders to watch you and watch you I shall. I can't be disregarding my orders because you can't sleep because of a drip that has been around probably longer than you have been alive."

Eren felt his face flush.

"I didn't mean-"

"Shut up." Eren could see the Corporal's foot lightly tap the ground, an action of amusement. "Get some sleep." he stated in a softer tone.

Eren lay back down and pulled his pillow lower down. He rolled on his side and then to the other. The chains around his wrists rattled lightly, like soft wind chimes. He swear he could hear the sounds of rain outside. Corporal Levi sighed. Eren rolled on his back.

Drip.

"It's no use, Corporal. I can't sleep." Eren stated.

"Just close your eyes." Levi replied softly, a lull in his voice. Eren could tell from the change in his tone he had leaned his head back against the wall and was probably gazing down his nose at him in his cell.

"And relax."

Eren lay flat on his back, his hands down at his sides. He closed his eyes and felt a wave of exhaustion pass over him. He breathe evenly, deeply, feeling his lungs fill fully. Then exhaled.

A moment passed, but there was no way to tell how much time itself had gone by. A moment of being lost in the dark behind his eyes, Eren felt as if the walls of the cell were pressing in all around him. He sat up, sweating, shaking, convulsing with confusion.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

"For fuck's sake," Eren mumbled, rubbing his face. "I can't sleep." he gasped.

A noise caught his attention. Levi's small frame came into view; hair parted evenly down the middle, eyes glinting in the firelight. He wrapped his slender, calloused fingers around the bars of the cell and leaned his face as close to the bars as possible.

"Hey," he spoke. "do you need me to come in there and knock you out? I told you to get some sleep."

"I can't." Eren began. Levi began walking to the door of the cell. "I tried. I mean, I am trying."

Levi grabbed the bars of the cell door and smirk, watching Eren's eyes grow wide. He tugged the bars hard, pulling them outwards, but the bars only made a loud clang against the rest of the barrier. Corporal Levi only smirked.

He pointed up with a long finger, pointing to the way the door was hinged on.

"Don't worry." he flashed a crooked smile. "I can't get in. Just like you can't get out."

Levi turned and walked back to where he first held the bars, getting closer to Eren as he watched him settle down.

Eren's eyes filled with wonder. The man before him was intriguing, so masculine without the need for excessive muscles and yet so intellectual without the need for books and papers. He was in a class all on his own.

"K-keep talking!"

"Oh?" Levi raised an eyebrow. He leaned his head on his arm, grasping the bar and looking at Eren with that mischievous light in his eyes.

"Please, Captain."

To his surprise the Corporal began to chuckle. It started off as a small burst, but was followed by a louder laugh. Eren's eyes widen again, drinking in all the details he could from Levi's laugh. It was manly, with a dept to it, but a light, airy overtone.

Levi's hair hung in his face, his lips twisted up in the corners.

"Oh-ho-ho." he chuckled, an arm around his gut. "You want me to keep talking? Do I amuse you?"

Eren blushed again, hoping the light from the fires would hide his face.

"Not amuse, sir. Not exactly."

"But I entertain you," Levi paused, his eyes darkening. "Don't I?"

Eren nodded, his throat suddenly dry.

"How the fuck do I entertain you?" Levi hit the bars with his arm, then rested his head against it again. He stared at the ground and Eren suddenly felt like he said the wrong thing.

"N-no, sir! It's not like that!"

Levi chuckled again, leaving Eren to wonder if he was touched in the head.

"What do you want me to say, Eren?"

Eren felt his blood run cold. The way his name sounded coming off of Corporal Levi's lips. It surprised him to feel so thrilled.

"A-anything, Captain!"

"Do you know what time it is, Eren, hey?"

Eren shook his head. "No, sir!"

Levi walked into the shadow and dragged the bench over to the bars. He took a seat, stretching his legs out along the bench, and leaned his back against the wall.

"Well, I don't either." he mumbled, gazing out the window. "But I assume that it is sometime near early morning."

"Sir, will I get out anytime soon?"

"You mean, out of this cell? I can't say."

"What's going on outside?"

"With the titans? With the city? Or perhaps, with your friends?"

Levi twisted the word, biting his bottom lip before dragging out the word 'friends.'

Eren stared at him, trying to understand the snag on his words. He found himself swinging his legs over the right side of his bed and trying to take a step towards Levi. He had only gone two steps when the chain pulled his left arm back. He turned to stare at the brace around his wrist.

Levi looked at Eren.

"You should be sleeping."

"I-" Eren began.

"Try." Levi breathed.

Eren sat on his bed again, but kept his feet on the floor. He stared at his bound wrists and questioned his thoughtless actions. Why did he just try to reach Corporal Levi? Was he trying to touch him? Why? Was there some type of comfort he was offering him?

"Say Corporal," Eren began. He waited until Levi met his eyes to continue. "What do you do when you can't sleep?"

Levi's eyes narrowed, but not out of anger. The corner of his lip twisted upwards as he gazed at the boy with a curiosity in his eyes.

"Do you know how old I am, Eren?"

Eren felt his stomach drop. He wasn't sure where Levi was taking this conversation.

"Corporal?"

"Cuh." Levi rolled his eyes. "I can't tell if you don't know or if you are being respectful."

He leaned his head back and eyed Eren out of the corner of his eyes.

"Just in case you didn't know, shithead, I'm not as young as you think I am." He pause and sighed. "So, how many sleepless nights do you think I endured?"

Eren swallowed. "I- I used to watch the Survey Corps arriving back into my city."

Levi's eyes sparkled in the firelight, but Eren forced himself to look away, at anything that would keep his eyes away from the Corporal.

"I would hear the bells ringing and it would excite me. I'd always drag Mikasa with me, just to see them return."

Eren couldn't understand why he was saying all this. Why now? Why did it matter?

"Some days, I would be lucky enough to see them head off too. So, I guess you can say I have a guess as to how old you are."

Levi smirked again.

"Did you ever see me then?"

"Not really. I might have caught you, once or twice. But you're part of the elite squad so, I highly doubt I'd sight you."

"So you do respect me."

"Yes! Of course!"

"Then, tell me exactly what you think of me?"

Eren curled his hands into small fists. He felt winded, as if Levi had kicked him in the gut.

"I can't answer that."

"They always say that." Levi frowned.

"No! It's not like that!" Eren suddenly turned to face him. The chains pulled and a loud ca-chink was heard. "I'm not like them!"

Levi smirked, the noise not phasing him. "What then? What do you think of me?" Levi turned away from the window to meet his eyes. "Or at least tell me why?"

"Why?" Eren repeated. His eyebrows furrowed. "Why do I think of you what I do?"

"No. Why don't you tell me."

"Oh." Eren sat in silence, taking in the shape of Levi's jaw in the firelight. He had stopped to gaze at the way Levi tied his collar, when Levi spoke again.

"Eren?"

"I'm thinking."

"Alright."

The wind outside howled once, picking up. Eren could hear the rains some more. It was distracting. Rain, at this time of year? The skies were cleared for several days before.

"I'm not sure what to think of you, Corporal. That is why I couldn't answer you at this point in time."

"So you don't want to judge me before you get to know me, is that it?"

"Something like that."

"Do you think you will get to know me?"

"I would hope so, sir, since I am to work with you."

"What about personally?"

"Sir?"

"You heard me. Outside of business. What do you think of me?"

"I never figured you'd be a man that would regard anything anyone thinks of him."

"Smart boy." Levi smirked. "I don't give a rat's ass what you think of me. I simply want an insight in your mind."

Eren bit his lip. Levi was tricky indeed. He had a way with those around him.

"Corporal?"

"Mmh?"

"If it helps, I think you're a smart man; analytical, with a strong grasp of the world around him. Brave. Loyal. Strong. But, I think, that all of that is a mask."

Eren sighed heavily. He felt a weight off his shoulders. He contemplated shutting his mouth now, but he pressed onwards, as he always did.

"I think that you put on a strong front and you keep yourself – your real self – hidden away. You hide from your teammates, and Commander Erwin, and anyone that tries to get close to you. So that's why I can't understand it, as to why you would take charge of me, since that would mean I have to stay close to you. Do you even have a purpose to living, Corporal, or are you just taking things day by day and trying to find a purpose for yourself?"

Eren glanced up under his eyelashes to watch Corporal Levi's mouth press in a hard line. The man squeezed his hands into fists and he looked away from Eren.

"Do you think everyone thinks that, Eren?"

"I don't think anyone looks into you the way I do, Corporal."

"So you want to get to know me?"

Eren nodded, knowing Levi was aware of his actions.

"Well, that depends on if the Corps can keep you under my supervision, I suppose." Levi stood and walked to the window, high above his head. "It's raining outside. And you should be sleeping."

Eren stood and walked to the bars until the cuffs dug into his wrists.

"Please, just let me touch you."

The words fell from his lips before he could make sense of them. His head throbbed in confusion and his chest felt warm, too warm. He feared what everyone was saying about him, the word monster chasing around his mind. But just seeing Levi in front of him pushed that all away.

"Please." he begged, reaching a hand out to the cell gate. The chains held him back, keeping him from touching the bars.

Levi turned and held a bar in his hand, his fingers curling gently around it. He reached through the bars, a look Eren couldn't quite name on his face.

Levi's pale hand was mere inches from his fingertips when the man stopped and pulled away.

Eren swallowed, realizing he had been holding his breath. He blinked and Levi was gone. The sound of wind and a loud bang announcing the return of the bench to its place in the shadows, perhaps by a rough kick. Eren heard the wood creak as Levi sat back on it. His legs were illuminated by the pale light drifting in through the window, but his face was hidden in the shadows. It seemed the Corporal was done talking.

Eren breathed in and out deeply, and then sat down on the bed. He couldn't understand what emotions he was feeling now. Was that ache from disappointment? Was he sad he didn't touch Levi, or was he upset that he had begged him so openly.

"Sleep now, Eren."

Eren numbly lay down on his back, his knees bent and his feet flat on the mattress.

"Levi?"

"Sleep Eren."

"Am I a monster, Corporal?"

Levi was silent.

"Am I really a monster? I feel so...human."

"Sleep Eren. Don't exhaust yourself."

"One more thing."

"What is it?"

"What do you do when you can't sleep?"

A moment of silence passed and then a deep sigh of resignation from the Corporal.

"I sing."

"You sing?"

"You asked."

Eren lay back against the pillow. He recalled Levi's laugh, the low bass mingling with the high, childish air. He scrunched his eyebrows together as he tried to imagine how Levi's voice would sound in song. It was a peaceful sound, he imaged. Images of a battle field, littered with blood and bodies came to his mind. Burning bodies, titan smoke. Every last one of them dead. And now a new detail to his dream, a clear song on the winds. Levi singing, a lament for the dead.

Perhaps, Eren thought, he would ask Levi to sing a song to lull him to sleep, just so he could hear his voice. But his head felt heavy and his face was numb. He could feel himself slowly succumbing to sleep.

Drip.

Drip.

Dri-

Dri-

-ip.

-ip.

The dripping faded. The battle field became surreal. The wind tugged at his hair and bit his aching fingertips. The titan smoke was thick in the air. He clutched at his chest, aching from an injury he had taken during the battle.

Eren had finally fallen asleep. But the ache in his chest was very real. A titan couldn't hurt him in the way this ache developed. In his dream Eren flipped through the air using the three dimensional gear. And as he tossed, a smile on his face in his dreams, somewhere in the back of his mind Corporal Levi remained a mystery to him. A mystery he was determined to solve.


	2. Chapter 2

The blankets were warm despite being underground. Eren sighed. He didn't want to leave his bed just yet. Soft yellow light filtered down through the windows and across his face, warming his cheeks. His lips curled up in an involuntary smile and he felt his eyes parting.

"No." he moaned into his pillow lightly, tugging it gently towards his face. "Not yet."

But he knew it was too late. He was awake.

Eren sat up and stretched his arms high in the air, hearing the satisfying sounds of his spine crack from lying so long all night. He stood and smiled, rubbing his wrists, and stopped to gaze up at the window. It was a beautiful day outside.

His experience of having to stay under the courtroom, with his hands bound by chains to the walls, had indeed taught him a lesson – despite not having the need for it. Freedom was an outstanding thing to take away from a human being, and after being behind bars for so long, just being with other humans was a great comfort to him.

Eren turned and made his bed, pulling up the sheets with a surprisingly optimistic air about him. He walked around his small but not too shabby room, gathering his things and getting ready for the day. He wasn't sure what the Corporal would make him help with, so he tried his best to prepare for the worst. His limbs were sore from all the scrubbing and lifting he had done for the past few days since they moved into the previously abandoned Survey Corps headquarters, but he was glad to be of some help. As he looked himself over as he got dressed, he took note of the swelling of his muscles. He was indeed growing stronger.

Birds chirped outside and Eren found himself walking up from the basement to a rather quiet room. He walked the first floor of the castle, thinking he would catch someone from Squad Levi in one of the many practical day rooms, but they were all empty. Eren vaguely wondered if he slept in or if the others had been called away on an important mission, but he knew that their most important mission right now was him. Slightly confused, Eren headed into the kitchen. He decided he might as well make some tea and wait for the others to arrive. To his surprise a kettle had already been boiled.

Eren put the back of his hand close to the metal kettle and smiled as it was still warm. He took a cup and filled it with some water, before dipping in the mesh infusior ball sitting on a saucer beside the kettle. Second-hand tea, he smirked. It wasn't so bad. That just meant someone was around.

Eren took his cup and began to walk back to their meeting room, eager to find some company. As he passed down the hallways, the bright rising sun caught his attention.

Eren smirked. So he was awake too early.

Figuring Petra was responsible for the tea, he decided he would simply sit outside and watch the sunrise. Perhaps he would feed the horses and tidy up the yard. If Corporal Levi had that planned for him, it would be out of the way. If not, it would give him an excuse to be outside. He would rather not talk to Petra right now anyways. Eren didn't want to say it, but the girl made him uneasy. Perhaps it was the way she looked so innocent, but had killed so many titans? Or perhaps it was because she was quite doll-like for a human being?

Eren sat on the front step of the castle and cup his hands around his teacup. He felt the warmed from the cup radiate through his fingertips and took a sip, before sighing contently and gazing out towards the sun.

He hated to admit it to himself, but the real reason Petra unnerved him was because of the way she was so intrigued by Corporal Levi. She made him feel pressed for time, like she was so close to unraveling the mysteries of that man. Eren took a sip of tea again. It wasn't fair. Acknowledging Petra as competition only made him feel stupid. Petra was a girl. Girls had crushes. That would explain why she dogged Levi around. Eren? He was a boy. Boys idolize their heroes. They looked up to mysterious men to try to become a better man themselves, right?

Eren scowled. He didn't want to be seen as some teenage girl with a crush. He didn't want to compete with Petra for Corporal Levi's attention. Yet, and it was with a sour emotion Eren admitted, he didn't want to see Petra held in Corporal Levi's arms. He didn't want to see her the victor and the closest companion to Levi.

As the image danced before his mind, of her narrow fingers tracing the Corporal's sharp jaw line, Eren squeezed his teacup in anger. But just thinking of the Corporal, seeing his face with a soft gaze, made the image of Petra fade away. Instead, he himself was seated on the Corporal's lap, gazing into his icy grey eyes and tracing his firm jaw line with the tips of his fingertips.

Levi's lips parted and his jaw lowered as he sighed. He breath was warm but delicious and Eren leaned into savour it. Levi caught his chin between his first finger and thumb, pinching it firmly to hold him in place, before pressing their lips together in a very soft, tender kiss.

Eren shook his head, forcing himself back to reality. This wasn't happening. He didn't just dream of kissing Corporal Levi.

Eren put his teacup down, noting his hand shaking. He idolized this man. He respected him. It was nothing to do with wanting to be held and kissed.

Eren wiped his face on his arm and looked towards the sun. He couldn't understand why he had caught tears on his face but as he continued to gaze out towards the bright horizon, no more tears fell.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" he whispered to himself.

A figure came around the horse stalls, just beyond the front walk. Eren sat up straight, wiping his face and trying to calm his heavy breathing. If anyone saw him seemingly out of control, they would put him down for sure.

'And there would go all chances of figuring out about Corporal Levi.'

What?

How was that relevant at this time right now? Wouldn't the bigger worry be not being able to kill off all the titans?

The figure had paused to gaze at the front step and Eren quickly picked up his teacup and took a sip. 'Act natural," he went on instinct.

From the distance, the figure was smaller than most of the Squad, so he guessed it was either Petra or Levi that was awake. The figure raised a hand and beckoned him over.

Eren sighed and rose, leaving his teacup behind. He walked over to the stables where he could clearly see Corporal Levi holding a bucket of food out to one of the horses.

"Early morning, Eren?"

"I couldn't sleep, Corporal."

"Do you always have trouble sleeping?"

"Not usually. I thought it was later than it was, I suppose."

"Hah!" Levi lowered the bucket of food and pet the brown horse before him. "Maybe I should assign you to feeding the horses?"

"I was going to do that after I finished my tea, Sir."

"Hah!" Levi laughed again. "You know you shouldn't be outside without any of us knowing, right?"

Eren sighed. "I wanted to see the sun rise."

Levi set the bucket on the ground and crossed his arms across his chest. He leaned with one shoulder on the building and smirked devilishly.

"Must be terrible, seeing the sun rise only from dungeon windows."

Eren only nodded. He felt his mouth go dry and his chest constrict the moment Levi turned his full attention on him. It was an unsettling feeling. Every doubt, every flaw out in the open for the Corporal to point out.

"Do you wake up early every day, Corporal?" Eren found himself asking.

"Some days. Sometimes I request someone else get up to do the chores, when I feel I need some rest. Petra is always more than willing to carry out any duties I request."

Levi picked up the bucket and started to head back toward the supplies shed. Eren followed him, staying behind him but to his side.

"Petra?" Eren repeated. He clenched his hands in fists and scowled. What exactly did Levi request from her? And why did it bother him so much?

"I rely on her quite a bit to get things done, mainly around the headquarters. The others are all well capable soldiers, but they have needs to attend to and are not so willing to make a dent in their schedules."

"I could always help you."

"Yes, I know." Levi smirked, taking the metal scoop left in one of the bags of horse feed and shoveling several spoons into the bucket.

"But you weren't around when I needed any rest before. Besides," Levi set the scoop down and bent his knees to lift the bucket. "I would still need to be around to watch you."

"Huh?" Eren's eyebrows pulled together. "It's not like I would run away or anything."

"But what if you were to turn into a titan and no one was around?"

Eren reached out and took the bucket from Levi's hands, causing Levi's mouth to drop open.

"Then at least let me help you while you're around."

Levi's eyes narrowed but he didn't say anything. Instead, he shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"Fine. But I am more than capable this morning of doing my chores."

"I just want to help."

"Did you have breakfast yet Eren?"

Eren looked away. No doubt Levi had eaten, and probably cleaned up after himself, before heading out to work. He himself had only had a cup of tea.

"I wasn't hungry."

Levi glared. "You shouldn't be running your body like that. It needs to be nourished first thing in the morning, after having none for so long all night. Don't be stupid because you're trying to be a hero."

Eren's shoulders slumped but he carried the bucket to the next and last horse that required feeding. He gazed fondly at the majestic animal as she dipped her head in the bucket and began to eat.

"How many times have I saved you Eren?"

Eren tore his eyes away from the horse and looked to Levi. He immediately looked back, not wanting to cause an accident with the horse in front of Levi. Besides, the man had no emotion on his face.

"I'm not entirely sure, Corporal."

"Well, the most obvious being once when you sealed up the hole in Trost. And again with the court case. Once more when you spontaneously decided to become a titan over a teaspoon. And should we begin to count the times, such as this, that you broke rules and I didn't report you for it?"

Eren felt his cheeks colour. How was it that Corporal Levi could make him feel like a child so easily?

"A lot then." he mumbled, keeping his eyes on the horse.

"So I can see why you would like to repay me for my extensive services." Levi smirked, twisting the remark to sound like a joke.

Eren felt his jaw drop. Was Levi joking with him? And with something so trivial as comparing life and death with cleaning and chores!

Eren shook his head and pulled the bucket away from the horse.

"Not bad." Levi remarked. He turned and began to walk back to the supply shed.

Eren followed.

"It's not just that." he found himself stating.

"Then what, boy? Because I don't understand why you stay at my heels?"

Eren stopped walking and absorbed the words. Did Corporal Levi not want him around?

"Then why would you take custody of me?"

Levi turned around and noticed Eren several paces back. His eyes flashed up to the castle windows and he quickly covered the ground between them. Before Eren could turn to see what he had seen, Levi had grabbed his wrist and pulled with a surprising amount of force.

"Not out here!" he hissed.

When they had approached the supply shed, Levi simply tossed Eren in by the wrist as if he was no heavier than a bag of rice. He then stepped into the shed himself and closed the door behind them.

"What the fuck was that for?" Eren demanded, attempting to rise to his feet. He had landed rather disgracefully on his back, with his legs tangled up several broomsticks against the wall.

"Why are you trying to cause a scene like that? What the fuck are you trying to do here, Jaeger?!"

Eren pushed away from the wall and covered his face as several brooms feel on him. He pushed them aside and began to wrestle with several of a mop's thick strands that had managed to wrap themselves around his boots.

"I wasn't trying to do anything, Corporal! I'm just trying to understand what you want from me."

"I want what everyone else wants, Jaeger! Out of this hell hole!"

Levi pulled a hunting knife from his boot and slashed at Eren, causing the boy to cover his face in fear. He vaguely wondered if drawing blood would cause him to become a titan, in which case it would most likely end in a fight to the death between himself and the Corporal.

But to his surprise, he felt no pain. Levi replaced his knife and Eren looked up to find the mop had fallen rather limply to the floor as well.

"Thanks." he uttered, ungratefully.

Levi sat on a seal back of horse food and held his head in one hand.

"Yeah. You're welcome. Again."

Eren flushed. He regretted throwing a fit and knelt down in front of Levi.

"I just don't understand Corporal. Why take responsibility of me and then be upset when I follow you everywhere? Isn't that what you signed up for?"

Levi sighed.

"I have never met someone like you, Eren." He whispered. His voice was softer than it had been just a moment ago, yet it was also filled with another emotion. Pain? Envy? Confusion?

Levi reached a hand out and tucked several strands of hair behind Eren's ear, pushing it with his fingers and caressing his temple with his thumb.

"I haven't ever met anyone like you." he repeated.

Eren felt his blood rush in his body. It disturbed him. The brooms, the bags of horse food, the walls of this thin shed, all began to fade away. He wanted more than anything to reach forward and wrap his arms around Levi's neck and press their lips together.

Eren shook his head, his hair falling away from Levi's touch. He had to get the image of Levi's lips from his mind before he did something so stupid.

It was a small action, but one that broke the moment. Levi's lips pressed in a hard line and the softness that seemed to hold him disappeared.

"Come on Jaeger, let's go." Levi shoved him lightly so that he could stand.

Eren followed his action, rising as well. He had broken that mask. For just a few seconds, a minute maybe, he had shared a moment with the real Levi.

"Wait." Eren reached a hand out and touched the man's shoulder. Levi flinched at the contact.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. For causing a scene."

"No matter. Don't answer any questions on it, alright?"

Eren nodded.

"If anything, you didn't know how to feed the horses."

Levi pushed the supply shed door open but paused after he crossed the threshold.

"On second thought, I am going to punish you for causing that scene." He turned and put a hand on the door. "You're going to clean up this mess. I'll be back to check on your outcome in one hour."

There wasn't much utensils to use to clean up all the dust and dirt along the shelves and floorboards of the supplies shed. The task at first seemed impossible to Eren, but he knew that if he was sighted leaving the shed Levi would be called. On his hands and knees, Eren scrubbed the floors with a small wire-bristled scrubbing brush he found, making sure to get all the dirt into a small dustpan and emptying it into a stray bucket.

He reflected on his early morning as he scrubbed the floor. How did he ever start to fantasize over Corporal Levi? And why was he so captivated by the man in the first place?

He hadn't been in Levi care for very long and he had already upset him multiple times, but this was the worst. It had given him an insight into Levi's mind though, and he wasn't sure if that was worth the mistakes yet or not. He wasn't sure how to make it up to him even. A stray thought to ask Petra how to get back on Levi's good side crossed his mind, but Eren quickly shoved it aside. Like hell he would ask her help! She was his competitor!

Eren stopped scrubbing the floor. Since when had he decided he wanted to compete with Petra? No, since when had he decided that he wanted to pursue something more from Corporal Levi?

Eren shuddered. A chill ran up his spine. Vaguely, he wondered just how far he was willing to let things go with the Corporal. He already was taking his beatings without question. The memory of the court room brought a new wave of questions to Eren's mind. What would Corporal Levi do to him if he was given the chance?

Eren threw the brush into a corner and stood up. He wrapped his arms around himself. A small piece of him longed for home. For Mikasa. And Armin. He felt as if his mind was falling to pieces. Ever since he had awoken from a titan-fogged mind and caught a glimpse of Levi in action, he simply wasn't the same. The man had come out of nowhere and had killed two titans in a matter of seconds. He was fast as a cannonball and as light as a feather. He had looked down at Eren with curiosity, and Eren had felt the world shift around him, expanding and rearranging to orbit around Levi.

Was that it? Could he have fallen for Corporal Levi?

Eren sat down and wrapped his arms around his knees. He hadn't ever paid much attention to feelings. His sense of justice typically caused him to push them aside. Sure, he had thought several woman before were beautiful, moreso than he would think of men in that sense, but he was never aware of any homosexual desires. And he had never judged anyone on potential wife or husbandmaterial. Despite most people's ideas, he viewed Mikasa and Armin as friends; two very loyal friends. Nothing more.

For a moment Eren suddenly wished he was back in the dungeon under the courtroom with the drip. It made things seem less confusing. Levi had spoken to him all night then, and they had spent the dawn together, just like today. But how had he managed to fuck things up between them since then?

Did he like Levi, really like Levi? Or was he just fascinated by a hero?

But why would you want to kiss a hero? Or have them pull your hair? Feel their breath in your mouth? Their skin on your skin?

Eren put his fist in his mouth to keep from screaming out loud. What the hell was he thinking? Did he just fantasize about fucking his squad leader?

'To hell with staying in here to clean up, I need air!'

Eren staggered out of the shed and into the warm of the sun outside. Once there, he fell to his knees and laid his forehead in the cool grass. The birds were chirping, the horses were walking around. All of life seemed to be going along its ordinary route.

He missed his friends. Mikasa. Armin. They would know what to do! Or...would they?

Eren sat up and paused to catch his breath. What if they thought he was crazy? Or worse, what if they confirmed he does like Levi?

Eren felt his stomach roll over.

'Okay,' he thought to himself. 'let's be rational. What is the worst that can happen?'

Eren stood on shaking legs as he thought of the answer. The worst that could happen would be rejection. Either Levi isn't gay or he didn't return Eren's affections. That was cool. That would hurt, but that was cool. Eren exhaled. He could handle that, he was sure of it.

But what if everyone found out? What if Jean or Armin or Connie found out? Would they look at him differently? Would he forever he branded as some kind of fuckboy?

Eren swallowed hard. He knew what he would have to do. There was only two options from here on out.

He stepped into the shed and glanced around. Most of the shelves were in order, arranged to Levi's liking. The floor was spotless, with the exception of the brush in the corner. Eren walked over to pick it up.

His first option was to get Corporal Levi alone and talk to him about it. Force his twisted tongue to cough up the words and let him know what the hell is going on. It wouldn't be so hard – he had gotten him alone this morning.

Or he had the second option. He could do nothing at all and force himself to reject these feelings. He wasn't sure if this was the smartest idea, there was really no way to predict how long he would be in this awkward phase of trying to reject these feelings. And he knew deep down that the mystery of Corporal Levi would haunt him to the end of his days if he didn't pursue him.

A shadow darkened the interior of the shed. Eren turned around, holding the brush behind his back.

Oluo sneering face look down at him before cracking a grin.

"Eh, Levi's got you cleaning in here now too?"

"Yes!" Eren replied. "Since this morning!"

"Hmm...I saw him talking to Petra at the front step. Perhaps he'll come along and relieve you soon?"

Eren smiled.

"That would be a relief, wouldn't it? You probably didn't even get a chance to piss yet!"

Oluo shifted the boxes in his arms and began to walk away, his barking laughter resonating in Eren's mind.

Eren vaguely wondered if he should throw the wire-brush at the back of his head. Petra was right about him; he was an annoying copy of Levi.

Eren turned and placed the wire brush on the shelf. He sighed and sat down on the same bag of horse food that Levi had almost an hour earlier.

"Didn't seem like you were doing too well."

Eren looked up to find Levi leaning against the doorframe. His blood surged at the sight of him and his face lit up with a smile immediately.

"Corporal!"

"Doing better?"

Eren's face fell. "What are you-"

"I saw from the window." Levi pointed towards the castle. "You came outside to lie down for a minute. Are you feeling sick?" As he spoke Levi kicked himself off the doorframe and came to put a hand on Eren's forehead.

Eren flinched.

"No. I was..." he paused. "The air in here was too heavy with dust. I needed some fresh air. That's all."

"I see." Levi turned and looked around, before picking up the wire brush. He put it on another shelf, one with more tools than boxes. He looked down to the floor. "You did a really good job in here."

"Thanks!"

"I asked the others if they would be kind enough to leave you some food for lunch. You must be starving."

"I didn't really pay much attention to that." Eren admitted.

"Go to the kitchen and eat something, you damned brat. Have a rest, you earned one."

Eren stood. He watched as Levi traced his finger on the edge of a small box.

For once Eren held his tongue. A burning desire to ask Levi what he had meant when he had said he hadn't met anyone like Eren had intrigued him. Did he perhaps mean he was in some way as curious about Eren as Eren was about him? Or was he referring to his titan-shifting ability and his desire to protect it?

Eren turned and left the shed. Now that Levi had mentioned it, he was quite hungry.

It wasn't until he had passed through the front doors of the castle when he recalled something else Levi had said to him earlier.

"I want what everyone else wants, Jaeger! Out of this hell hole!"

Eren's boot made a soft click against the stone step before he paused.

'Out of this hell hole' – did Levi mean he wanted out from these walls as well?

Eren shook his head. That was probably obvious, why else would he be a Corps? But it had presented him with just the conversation he might need to get Levi alone.


	3. Chapter 3

Eren woke up with a terrible headache. His back ached. He realized he must have fallen asleep at one of the many tables. Groaning, Eren raised his head and held his lower back. He had been slumped over for how long?

The sky was red outside. It must've been around sunset.

Why had no one woken him?

A chorus of voices down the hallway alerted Eren of his squad's return. He jumped up and looked around for something he could use as a good excuse but Oluo's arrival cut him short.

"Oh? So you've been here all along?"

"Um..."

"Eren, we were worried about you." Eld followed behind Oluo. He seemed more relaxed after seeing Eren for himself.

"I'm sorry. I-"

"He's right where I left him. It's alright." Levi walked by them, putting a hand on Eld's arm.

"Eren!" Petra reached came to the front of the group and took his hand. "What have you been up to? We were worried!"

Eren looked to Levi by his side and noticed Petra's eyes follow his. She let his hand go immediately, but came to move to closer to Levi.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry to worry you."

"I told them you were fine." Levi muttered. "Anyways, I want you to go to your room right now."

"Are you sure you don't need me around?"

Petra stepped closer to Eren. "We're just going to have dinner, Eren. If you're hungry you can always join us."

"No." Eren took a step back. "I- I think I'll go to sleep."

Eren turned away from the group, having to squeeze by them to get through the doorway. He was halfway down the stairs, taking them at a fast pace, when he felt a hand around his upper arm.

"Eren." his name was a sigh from those soft, smooth lips.

Eren felt a chill run through him. Again. Not twice in one day.

He turned, halfway down the stairs, to gaze up into the cold eyes of Corporal Levi. He opened his mouth but it was dry and he closed it again to swallow before speaking.

"Y-yes, Corporal Levi?"

Levi let go of Eren's arm, instead brushing his hair back from his face.

"I-" Levi's eyes shifted away from Eren's face and then back again. "I just wanted to make sure you got tucked in alright."

Eren was stunned. Was Levi speechless? No. He found himself shaking his head and walking down the stairs again. He could feel Levi's presence behind him.

He headed to his bed and sat down, leaving some space for Levi to take a seat beside him. Ever a gentleman however, Levi pulled a chair from the corner of the room to sit in front of Eren.

"Did I...say something, or maybe do something?" Eren began. He was looking at his hands in his lap, recalling the night he was in the dungeon, bound by chains to the wall. The way Petra had looked between him and Levi had unnerved him. He wasn't sure if his speech would come across the way he wanted it to.

"What do you mean?" Levi's shadow shifted, and Eren assumed it meant Levi was frustrated from not being able to see his eyes. He suddenly understood why the Corporal moved his hair.

"This morning, in the supply shed, or perhaps the night I met you in the dungeon? Did I ever say something? Or was it how I looked or acted? Something I said or did, that made you...curious?"

"What are you talking about Jaeger?" Levi sounded exhausted, like he was already tired of this conversation. His eyes shifted to the stairwell and back to Eren's.

Eren took a deep breath. "This morning you said you hadn't met anyone like me. And, I was just wondering, what you meant by that, Corporal?"

Levi shifted in his chair, turning to face away towards the shadows.

"Are you ready for bed, Eren?"

"I'm not tired, sir."

"Then why did you not join us in the dining room?"

"I'm not hungry either, sir."

"So you planned to just come and sit in here?"

"Yes."

"What did you want to think about so badly?"

"You, sir."

Levi's eyes widened but he held his composure. Eren found it odd to be so honest with Levi about this topic. Since he had started speaking to him, it seemed impossible to stop.

"What about me, Jaeger?" he paused, gauging Eren's reaction before continuing. He sat back against the chair and crossed his arms and legs. His eyes flashed about the room, to the door and then the window.

"Are you still trying to find out who the real me is? Still trying to figure out what my purpose in life is? Or are you curious about my history? I'm sure you can ask any of the corps, they can tell you if they've been around long enough."

Eren sat in silence, his hands curled into fists. He ground his teeth together, listening to Levi's mocking voice.

"Sir?"

Levi didn't reply, merely raising an eyebrow. He raised his eyes from the ground to look at Eren, sitting so vulnerably in front of him. Eren's eyebrows were knit together in bewilderment.

"I was just wondering what you meant by what you said. I thought perhaps you meant my titan-power. And I was going to reflect on it in the case Hanji-"

A smooth pair of lips pressed against his own, cutting off his words. Soft at first, and then rough, greedily taking whatever they sought. Eren's breath left him in a gasp, and a warm breath invaded his mouth. A mint flavor assaulted his sense of taste and he found his tongue battling another. Blood rush caused his cheeks to flush and his lips to swell, and he found his hands had risen of their own account to wrap around Corporal Levi's neck.

As gently and as softly as he had started the kiss, Corporal Levi pulled away and broke them apart.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

He began to rise.

"Levi!"

Eren felt a small panic rise in his chest, Levi was leaving.

"Please don't go."

Levi stopped at the door, his shoulders slumped.

"Eren, I have to."

"No, you don't. Stay here. Talk to me."

"I can't." Levi breathed heavy, exhaling loudly. "I won't be able to keep control of myself."

Eren opened his mouth but didn't say anything. He could feel tears in his eyes.

"I don't want you to go." he whispered. "I want to understand you."

"Get some sleep Jaeger."

Levi voice was cold. He didn't turn back.

Eren watched him leave, his small frame disappearing around the corner. He turned and lay face down on his bed, his head swimming with thoughts.

"I have never met someone like you, Eren."

Was it possible? Eren pondered his words from before. His lips were so smooth, so eager. The tears spilt over and Eren closed his eyes to let them fall. Was Levi trying to confess something to him? Was there something the real Levi was trying to get through the mask?

Eren's head hurt. His chest ached. There was less than a week until the next excursion and he wasn't even sure what he was supposed to be focusing on. How did Levi do it?

Eren shook his head. He would cry over the Corporal tonight. But this would be the final time. Their mission was more important. The titans were going to be extinguished. He had spent a whole day on this man and his mysteries and had only been left hurting with more questions than answers. A whole day wasted on something other than their mission. Eren shook with sobs as he buried his face in his pillow. As he clutched at his pillow until his fingers went numb, he vowed to himself that this would be the last time he wasted a day on anything other than exterminating the titans.

The water on his face was cool and welcoming. Eren sighed into the stream, wiping away the sweat and dirt. He was glad to be out in the sun with Hanji and Gunther, spending the day trying to understand the titans and his ability to shift into them. It had been some days since he had tried – and failed – to shift while in the well, and Hanji had located a different place they could safely try a shift since then. Eren had spent the later half of the morning with his feet wedged between tree trunks, feeling the warmth of the sun kissing his skin, and trying to shift. He had managed once, having a collect goal of transforming to pick up a large log they had dragged several meters ahead of him. Hanji had clapped happily and tried to crawl all over him after the transformation, so he tried his hardest not to move.

While Hanji scribbled in a notebook and Gunther stood behind Eren, ready to slice his head off should he misbehave, Eren reached up and cup his large hand around a bird in the air. Amused, he opened his mouth in a smile and brought his hand down to Hanji, the small bird resting in this palm. Hanji's eyes lit up with amusement and she took the bird from him, touching its head and laughing with him. Eren had turned and was glad to find even a smile on Gunther's lips.

The memory of holding the bird together wasn't fuzzy in his mind as he washed himself before lunch. He was surprised since many of his memories as a titan would take him several days to remember, if he could recall them at all.

"Do you suppose that has anything to do with human emotions?" he asked Hanji as he came over to sit in the sun with them. They had been in the shade for the last twenty minutes and the light breeze that had crept up had chilled them.

"I suppose. All of our experiments have neither proved or disproved titans' ability to feel any emotions."

"Well, they must feel something."

"Hunger." Gunther snorted. "I'm sure they feel that."

"I doubt it." Hanji smiled. "Otherwise they would require food. And we have no proof that they do. Their systems don't even have a digestive exit."

Eren watched his companions closely. He analyzed the way their hair blew in the breeze, the way the sun highlighted their skin, as if he were trying to forge the moment as a memory in his mind forever. He tore his eyes away to take a bite of his bread when he felt the mood change.

"How are the experiments going?"

Petra's shadow blocked the sun off Eren.

He had been doing a good job of avoiding her and Levi for the last few days. Despite their relationship as colleagues, Eren determined Petra to be some sort of unhealthy competition; a feeling he was sure of since she had stepped between himself and Levi. Instead, every time he had seen them he turned his face away. He wasn't sure how long he would be able to get away with this sort of behaviour, especially towards Corporal Levi, but he was determined to keep it up until his emotions could be put in check. Until the mission was over, he wasn't willing to even breach the subject to himself. His chest felt hallow and raw whenever he focused on Levi for too long and he knew it would sour his attitude towards others – something he couldn't risk right now. Not when they were beginning to trust him.

Eren turned his face to the south, watching the birds in the sky flying around. He chewed slowly, using the food in his mouth as an excuse to stay out of the conversation.

"They went very well." Hanji smiled.

"Eren caught a bird!" Gunther threw in.

Petra's eyes widened. "How lovely! Where is it?"

"We released it again." Hanji smiled. "He was a large one too. Eren was so gentle with it!"

"I was amazed at how docile the bird was." Gunther smiled.

"Is that another thing you are going to look into, Hanji? Perhaps Eren can help you find out how other animals react to titans?"

"We're not that sure on that, Petra." Hanji looked down and paused in eating her food. "That might be a possibility, but it's not for now."

"Oh." Petra sounded disappointed. Eren vaguely wondered if it was because she was glad Eren was spending more time with Hanji than with Levi.

"Are you guys going to be heading back soon? Levi was wondering if we could have a quick meeting before dinner?"

"It's only lunch time, Petra." Gunther scowled. "Does he have to be so anal over everything?"

"Levi is just trying to keep us informed. We have the excursion tomorrow and-"

Hanji was watching Eren, and turned to cut off Petra. "We'll be back soon. We don't want to tire out before the excursion and I have to help make sure all the equipment is ready. Besides, I think Eren likes being outside."

Eren shook his head, his name catching his attention from the birds.

"Hmm, what?"

"You like it outside, don't you?"

All eyes were on him and he felt blood rush in his cheeks. Vaguely he wished he were sharing a picnic with Mikasa and Armin instead.

"Yeah," he looked away. "I like the outside."

Hanji reached over and touched his ankle, turning back to Petra. He heard her lower her voice and softly speak to her, and then the girl disappeared.

Gunther lowered his head and chewed his bread.

Hanji turned to Eren and smiled. "It reminds you of your home, isn't it?"

Eren pulled a face, not wanting to think of his parents. Hanji was just trying to cheer him up, he realized. So he wasn't being as ambiguous as he had hoped.

"Mmh." he nodded. "I used to pick firewood with Mikasa out in fields like this. It was quite peaceful. Sometimes I'd catch a nap if we were quick enough. And other days we'd pick flowers for my mum."

Hanji nodded. "I hope I didn't upset you, just bringing up-"

"It's fine." Eren met Hanji's eyes with a burning passion. "It's a good reminder to know I'm human."

The meeting was dry. Eren had sat through several of the Survey Corps meetings since he was granted to their inner circle, so he hadn't expected it to be very exciting. However, since they were leaving the safety of the walls with new recruits, Eren had looked forwards to something a little more informative. With Petra seated within his line of sight, Eren found it hard to concentrate on little more than the way she kept trying to catch Levi's eyes when the conversation dwindled.

He rolled his eyes, crossed his legs, and twiddled his thumbs under the table top for what had felt like eternity. He had already memorized the plan. It was mind-minding to be sitting there having to hear it all over again.

"Jaeger!"

Eren sat up straight. "Yes?"

Hanji stiffled a laugh. Gunther gave him a weak smile.

"Are you paying any attention at all?"

Eren blushed, the tips of his ears highlighting. "Yes, I am."

"So you have no questions on any of the changes we just made."

Eren shook his bangs into his face to cover his wide-eyed fear. What had he missed while he was attempting to distract himself from the feelings Levi caused him?

"No. No questions."

"Trick question." Levi slapped the table top. "There were no changes made. You weren't paying attention."

Eren felt all eyes on him and looked down at his hands. What he needed badly was a reasonable excuse. He rubbed a small semicircle into the back of his hand forcefully with his thumb, when an idea came to him.

"I'm just a little tired. I only had to be a titan four times today."

The small gasps around the table were music to his ears. He had to hide his smirk.

"Hanji?"

"Yes?"

"You didn't tell us how the day's experiments went."

"Very well. I thought Petra had informed you."

Eren leaned forwards. "Forgive me, but may I go to my room? I think I'm about to pass out from exhaustion."

Hanji jumped at the prospect. "How taxing is it on your body to titan-shift, Eren? Did you feel tired as the titan? Or does the fatigue set in after a duration of time?"

Eren hid a fake yawn behind his hand. "I don't want to be a burden to the mission tomorrow."

Levi scowled but nodded once. "You probably need your rest."

Hanji jumped up. "I have more questions to ask him! Shall I take him to his room, Levi?"

"No, that would be useless. Who would tell me of the experiments then?" Levi looked around the room, eyes falling on each of his handpicked soldiers. "Eld will take him."

Eren stood from the table and left the room at ease. Eld wasn't much of a talker and disliked having to babysit him. Getting away from Levi's probing eyes was too simple.

Eld followed him without question and came to grab his shoulder tightly. "Keep in my line of sight."

Eren nodded and apologized before continuing onwards at a slower pace. Eld was more understanding of his titan-shift ability, he felt, than the others in Squad Levi, but he was also more cautious. Eren could respect that and he offered no resistance whenever Eld gave him any commands.

Eren sighed as he sat on his bed. He honestly was exhausted from the days training and an early night was probably a good idea.

"Do you find guarding me to be annoying?" he found himself asking.

Eld stood at the door of his room, leaning casually in the doorway. "Well, I can understand the need for it."

Eren smirked. "I do too. It's not that I disagree. I just find it a little overbearing. I'm not going to run away or change without warning or anything. At least I doubt it."

"The Survey Corps have no room for doubt."

"I know."

"But you feel scrutinized, I take it."

Eren was surprised when Eld pushed the conversation. He was usually a very cut and blunt man.

"Yes. I suppose you can say I am feeling a little crowded by it."

"Don't blame Levi for it. He's a good man. He just...he has his orders and he wants to follow them."

Eren sighed heavily. How did he know the conversation would come around to Levi? Still, it granted him a good insight into how he was being viewed. Since his avoidance behaviour was noticeable, many must have perceived it as some sort of dislike towards Corporal Levi, a dislike stemming from having to be walked about like a dog.

"I understand he's just doing his job. You all are just doing your jobs." Eren sighed and lay down, stretching out on the bed. "But I just feel so cooped up, like an animal."

Eld chuckled. "Well, I can understand that. I recall being told you have a thing against being held inside these walls like cattle."

Eren raised his head to smirk at Eld. "Yeah, I guess I do."

"Can't say I don't blame you." Eld sighed. "It would do us all some good to have some more breathing room."

A moment of silence passed between them. Eren let his head down on his pillow and heard Eld shuffle across the end of his room, having finally entered. He was thankful that Eld was sent with him; he was easy to get along with and conversation was natural. Eren was just beginning to see the battle field before him. The corpses of many titans smoking and decaying. The victorious cries of his comrades. Levi's sweet singing voice cutting over the wind, as gracefully as he swung his swords.

"Say, Eren?"

"Mmh?"

"Gunther told me you enjoyed being outside today."

"Yeah."

"Are you excited to go beyond these walls."

Eren propped himself up on his elbows. This was the conversation he was dying to have some moments ago.

"Yes!" He pulled a face. "I admit, it's a little disappointing to go back out Wall Rose and into Maria territory, so it's not like I haven't been there. But things must have changed since the titans gained that land."

"You're not wrong. It isn't exactly the Maria you're used to. But aren't you afraid?"

Eren made an effort to repeat the question to himself. Was he afraid? Could he be afraid. He shook his head. "Not at all. I know what needs to be done."

"I'm not keeping you awake, am I?"

"No! I was hoping someone would talk to me about beyond the walls."

Eren fought the fatigue as he spoke. He could feel his body lower into the mattress again and it felt good. Warm.

Eld laughed. "It's nothing different, Eren. The land beyond is similar to the land inside, at least as far as we've gone."

"There's lands out there that are different though. And skies that have different stars. Vast bodies of water. I want to see them all." Eren's eyes sparkled as he spoke, gazing up at the ceiling and envision his goals.

Eld smiled but didn't push the topic. He could tell from Eren's limp limbs that the boy was going to fall asleep soon. The kid had an overly active imagination, he thought, wondering what Eren would dream of when he finally fell asleep.

It was still dark when Eren opened his eyes. He hadn't been woken by anyone, so he judged it wasn't time to rise for the mission. He stood up and walked towards the window, which was higher since he was in a room underground. He pouted, missing the night wind in his hair. It surprised him when a cool voice cut through the air.

"Planning on escaping, are we?"

Eren turned, finding only a pair of crossed legs surrounded by darkness.

"No. Just checking the time."

"It's still early. Go back to sleep."

Levi sounded bored.

Eren sat on the bed, resting his back against the headboard and curling around his knees.

"You guard me most nights. Don't you ever sleep?"

"Sometimes."

"You must have some killer insomnia or something."

Levi chuckled. "I suppose you can say that. But for the most part, I'm just paranoid of anyone trying to slit my throat in my sleep."

Eren blinked. Was Levi being serious or was he trying to accuse him of something? Eren pushed the thought from his mind. He was awake. It was still early. Probably much too early to get up and walk around.

But he was awake. And getting back to sleep would be a struggle.

Eren nestled himself down in his bed. He considered talking to Levi, but he was sure after avoiding him Levi had gotten the wrong impression. Eren squeezed his eyes shut and gripped his pillow under his head. He would not cry over Corporal Levi tonight. Not after all the effort he had gone through to ignore his feelings the last few days. He would remain blank and emotionless until after the mission. Then, and only then, would he find a way to sort out this mess.

With his eyes closed, he forced himself to focus on his surroundings. There was a steady, gentle breeze caressing his cheek and cooling his body from the warm sheets covering him. He sighed contently. If he could just forget Corporal Levi was sitting just beyond his bed, watching him.

The familiar images of titan corpses came to mind, after what had seemed an eternity of lying still in the dark. The smoke choked his airways and burned his eyes, but he could feel the euphoria of slaying every last titan.

Eren shifted slightly, allowing his back to curve into the mattress. He felt a soft touch on his forehead, his hair being brushed back. But he was walking along the battle field, watching the titan corpses erode and listening to what he imagined Levi's song to sound like.

Levi stared down at him sleeping, watching him with an intrigued expression. He smiled to himself, glad that Eren had exhausted himself to sleep so easily. He had anticipated a rather sour conversation, since Eren had avoided him for quite some time now. Perhaps the boy was pushing his own emotions aside for the sake of the mission? He would just have to do the same.

"What are you doing to me, Eren Jaeger?" he whispered, watching the boy's face as he slept and knowing full well that he couldn't hear him.


	4. Chapter 4

Eren's eyes opened to the sky above him. It was changing fast. Clouds vanished below him, the sun shone brightly. He wasn't sure why he was lying down outside, especially outside the wall. Or why he was covered in a cloak and soaked in some weird, sticky substance. He wanted to sit up and see what had happened, but Mikasa's voice reassured him otherwise.

Eren lay his head back down. Something about the mission being a failure. His head ached. Vomit rose in throat and burned the lining of his esophagus. 'The mission...had been a failure.' He swallowed the vomit and sighed out of pain. He realized he must've have been injured during the mission. He squeezed his eyes shut, the sun causing his vision to turn red under his eyelids. A female titan had appeared out of nowhere, she had wiped out their right flank, and she had killed-

Levi.

The name jumped to the front of his mind.

Levi.

Was he okay? Did he get attacked? Eren struggled to sit up.

A gentle hand pressed against his shoulder, not to push him down but to stop him from getting up. He gave up struggling and lay back down.

Was Levi alright? He wasn't with them when the female titan had appeared and wiped out their squad right before Eren's eyes. He felt tears unwilling prick the corners of his eyes. He let them fall, safe in the wagon with its walls from the eyes of his fellow comrades. He had seen death before. He had seen the fear in people's eyes when titans had appeared and destroyed his home. And he had seen his mother, crying and in pain, being a victim to those giant monsters. But she hadn't died screaming. And neither had Petra, Oluo, Eld, Jinn, and Gunther. They had all faced their fates bravely. They had all died valiantly.

Eren clamped a hand over him mouth and let the tears fall silently. All he could do was hope that Levi was alright. He was humanity's strongest, he would have found a way to escape if he couldn't have defeated the female titan.

It was hopeless to begin with, Eren thought. He should have shifted. Levis should have reunited with his squad sooner. If he was there when they had attacked her, things could have gone differently.

Eren felt cold. Things could have gone differently in a bad way too.

Eren closed his eyes. He didn't want to sleep but it seemed like a better distraction right now than to lay and worry. He tried but his aching body and tearful eyes protested and he eventually opened his eyes, choosing to gaze up at the sun. He saw the gates of Wall Rose pass over him after some time. It wouldn't be long until they were home.

It wasn't a loud return. Eren walked to the front steps and felt the chill of the castle's shadow engulf him. He turned to face the stables and caught a glimpse of Levi, who was guiding his horse back to rest. He seemed to be leaning on the horse, limping beside it. Other than his leg, Levi seemed alright. Eren turned his back on the warm sun and walked to his room, dragging his feet. How could that have happened?

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was in his room for what seemed like forever, lying on his bed and listening to the sounds of people upstairs. Mikasa had come down to sit with him, but she seemed to have finally fallen asleep. Eren picked her up and lay her on his bed, glad that she was resting. She must have been exhausted from the mission.

He sat on the end of the bed, his head in his hands, trying to remember what he had done as a titan. He could remember sinking his teeth into his hand, the veins bursting around his teeth, the taste of blood – like a metallic rust. And then all went black.

Eren rubbed his temples. This was important. He had to remember this. He shifted. He was a titan. He could feel hair around his face. He could feel the wind. He roared. He roared at ...her.

So there was a fight?

Then what?

She had put her arms up, protecting her face. She was ready. Eren raised his hands. Rage. Rage and blood pumping through his veins. Kill. He would kill her. He would avenge their deaths.

Tears spilled down Eren's face. Petra dead against the tree. Gunther hanging from his tangled maneuver gear. Each of their faces flashed past his mind. They had all been getting along not so long ago. Eren could recall Gunther's face when he had caught the bird just yesterday. They were smiling, glad to be out in the sun and making memories.

Eren looked at the doorway, covering his mouth with his hand. Eld had just stood there hours ago, watching him while Levi ate his dinner.

Eren looked to the floor and exhaled in his hand. He had seen death before. Why was this hitting him so hard?

"It never gets easier."

Eren looked up.

Levi stood leaning on the far wall, outside his door, watching Eren from under his dark hair.

"L-Levi?"

Eren stood up and took a step towards him.

"Are you alright, Eren?"

Eren came to stand in front of Levi, reaching out to place his palm against the wall beside the shorter man's head. He breathed heavy but forced himself to stay calm. He look at Levi's shoes, the way his left ankle was holding less of his body weight the rest of him. He was injured, but Eren couldn't remember when. His torso seemed strong, his arms crossed in front of his chest weren't bandaged. His face was free from injury. Eren swallowed loudly. He was glad that Levi was alright.

"Eren?" Levi sounded unsure.

Eren shook his head.

"Uh, I'm fine. You're injured."

"It's nothing."

"What happened?"

Levi looked Eren in the eyes. "I got hurt because your sister decided to try to kill the female type titan."

"What?"

Eren looked over his shoulder at Mikasa sleeping on his bed. She mumbled in her sleep but didn't wake.

"What happened?"

"The female type kidnapped you. Mikasa and myself went after you. When I was rescuing you, she tried to kill the female titan. I landed wrong."

"I'm so sorry!" Eren turned away and sat on the floor.

Levi came and sat beside Eren, throwing an arm around his shoulders.

"Shh, don't cry. Don't let those pretty green eyes cry." Levi whispered.

Eren buried his face in his hands, speaking between his fingers.

"You got injured because of me."

"Yes. And that's what I signed up for Eren."

Eren kept his face buried so Levi continued.

"It's part of my job, brat. You don't have to feel bad about it."

"And Oluo, and Petra, Jinn, Gunther, and Eld, they're all dead." Eren sobbed. "Because of me."

"Yes." Levi sighed. He pulled Eren into his shoulder and wrapped his other arm around the boy. "Petra is dead."

There was a drip.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Eren sat up.

It was all in his head. It was all a dream.

He must've associated the mission failing to his status as property of the Survey Corps. He was going to have to be handed over to the Military Police; it was no wonder his subconscious connected to the dungeon of the court.

He was sweating. He pushed his hair back off his head and rose. He didn't have a guard tonight. There was nobody left here.

Grabbing his jacket, Eren pulled his arms through and shoved his feet in his boots. He was ordered to remain in his room until Corporal Levi came and woke him in the morning, but he couldn't listen. It might mean being killed on the spot, but Eren felt as if he were choking. He wanted a drink. Levi couldn't kill him for a cup of water, could he? Besides, dying here would be better than being unwound by the military.

He ascended the stairs slowly, looking around. He wasn't wearing his maneuver gear or his pants, but his nightshirt was long enough to cover his thighs. There was a chill in the air that had been there since the sun had gone down. Eren cursed himself; he should've put some pants on.

There was a fire in the large room, just adjacent to the mess hall. The bright orange light caught Eren's eye as he walked by.

He pressed himself against the wall and peered around the doorway. There was a single, large chair facing the fire. He bent down and sighted a left foot hanging from the chair. So Levi must have been sitting there? Perhaps he was cold?

Eren went to the kitchen and poured some water into the kettle. He let it come to a boil, drumming his fingers impatiently on the counter, and then poured some hot water into two cups. The least he could do was bring Levi some tea if he was having another spell of insomnia.

He brought the two cups of tea into the room with the fire and walked towards Levi. A blade flashed out from the side of the chair and Eren took a quick step back, despite the blade being quite far from him.

"It's only me, Captain."

The blade lowered. Eren walked around the chair and extended a cup to Levi.

The man took it, his long fingers gripping the rim of the cup. He took a sip despite the steam and swallowed quietly. Eren took a seat on the floor, just off to the side from the fire. His shirt pulled up, exposing some of his thigh. He desperately wished he had put on some pants before coming up.

"I told you to stay in your room."

Eren blew on his tea and took a small sip.

"I was feeling cooped up. The whole castle is empty."

"I doubt you'd titan-shift anyways." Levi murmured. He lifted a bottle of whiskey from between his side and the chair and filled his cup.

Eren felt like taking the whiskey away. What was Levi doing?

"I can handle it, brat. I'm a grown man for fuck's sake."

He threw his head back and swallowed the tea and whiskey in three gulps.

Eren lowered his head and sipped his tea. How was it that Levi knew what he was thinking all the time?

"Am I going to die, Captain?"

Levi's eyes flashed and Eren jumped when the teacup smashed against the rock mantle.

"You aren't going to die unless I am the one to kill you, Jaeger."

Eren's body went cold. He felt a chill run down his spine. For some reason, he could believe those words.

"What's going to happen?"

Levi spoke with his teeth ground together. "We're working on a plan."

Eren sipped his tea and then put the cup down near the wall. He was warm from sitting near the fire. He reached out and began to gather the shards of the smashed cup, pushing the pieces in a small pile.

Levi suddenly laughed. It was nothing close to the laugh when they were in the dungeon under the courtroom. The light carefree overtone was gone, replaced with a strained madness to it that seemed to resonate deep with Levi. The very sound gave Eren shivers and as he crawled backwards on his hands away from Levi, he questioned the man's sanity.

Levi stood, his eyes looking at Eren on the floor. Eren watched him smirk, his lips pulling back and exposing his teeth. They flashed in the firelight and he lifted the bottle of whiskey to his lips, taking a sip dry from the bottle before tossing it was ease on the cushion of the chair.

Levi dropped to his knees, his heavy body making a loud thud as his legs absorbed impact.

Eren felt a mixture of worry and fear for the man. Despite his wild behaviour, Eren found he didn't have any feelings of wanting to leave. He had back away from the man, and therefore the fire, but Levi had simple closed the space between them crawling after him. As he crawled Eren found he was hypnotized by the Captain's body. He reached his lean arm out and then followed it with the curve of his body and the fullness of his bottom. Eren swallowed hard. It was like something from his dreams.

Levi bit his lip and looked up at Eren with a lust in his eyes. He reached out and grabbed the bottom of his thigh, tightly. His fingertips dug into Eren's skin with an overwhelming desire. The younger boy moaned, the sound of being caught by a hunter.

Levi smirked and ran his tongue over his top lip. The sound had aroused him.

Eren felt his body break into a sweat. Levi's fingers dug into his flesh, groping higher, nails digging deeper into his flesh. He wrapped his hands around both of Eren's thigh and suddenly pulled the boy closer to him, fast enough to part his legs and pull him to his crotch.

Eren moaned louder this time. His body had rubbed against Levi's erection, separated only by the thin material of Levi's pants.

Levi smiled coyly. He had Eren exactly as he had wanted him to be. He leaned down, his palms slapping the floor on either side of Eren's head and covered the boy's body with his own.

He lowered himself to hover just above Eren's lips, brushing them gently with his own. Eren sighed, his blood rushing and his body desiring.

Levi caught Eren's lower lip in his teeth and tugged gently, nipping at him.

Eren pressed his lips to Levi, pulling out of his rough play. He wrapped his arms around Levi's neck and gave into the man's undeniable pleasure. This was everything he ever wanted.

Encouraged, Levi reached down and cupped Eren's manhood. He rubbed his calloused thumb over it, sadistically enjoying the blush in Eren's cheeks and irresistible look of hunger in his bright green eyes. He lightly traced a vein with the tip of one finger, enjoying the sounds Eren was emitting. He pressed their lips together, before kissing up his jaw line to his ear and then heading down his throat.

Eren felt overwhelmed by the amount of desire he was feeling. New to the actions of a partner, he gave his body over willingly and easily. As Levi beckoned him with his hands to sit up, he found his body obey without any logical reasoning. His jacket was discarded with, and he lost sight of Levi as the man pulled his shirt over his head. He was left in his boots before the Captain, who had pushed him gently back down on the floor with one hand and held the small of his back with the other.

Levi kissed down Eren's chest, pausing to squeeze one of his nipples and feel its hardness. He smiled to himself, watching Eren's body react to him. It pleased him to see the boy so overwhelm by his actions.

One hand held Eren to him, pulling him gently towards him from on the floor, and the other he had wrapped around Eren's manhood, slowly stroking him from base to tip. Eren moaned, his voice echoing off the walls of the castle.

Levi pressed his lips to Eren's, before moving down to the boy's cock in his mouth. Eren gasped, and Levi reached up to put two fingers in the boy's mouth. Eren's lips instinctively wrapped around them and Levi began to gently lick Eren's cock. When he felt Eren was calm enough, Levi began to suck him.

Eren felt his hands reach down and grab Levi's shoulders. He moaned loudly around Levi's fingers, and then sucked on them, his tongue frantically licking up the digits.

Levi pulled his fingers out of Eren's mouth, just enough to encourage the boy to suck again. He licked Eren's cock and then sucked him, feeling the boy's fingers in his hair.

He pulled away, his hands pushing Eren's legs up and over his shoulders, and began pumping Eren's cock with his hand. As he did, he watched Eren twist under his control. His hands clawed at the floorboards and his back arched seductively. Levi smiled and lowered his lips back to his cock. The boy was close now, and he didn't want to miss it.

Eren screamed out Levi's name as the man's lips wrapped around his cock. Levi greedily drank from him, taking satisfaction in milking the boy.

When he was finished, Levi sat up and met Eren's eyes. He swallowed audibly and watched as Eren's lust-clouded eyes saw nothing but him. He tore off his jacket and Eren grabbed his cravat. The pair fell wrestling to the floor, discarding clothing as soon as it undone.

Levi grabbed Eren's thigh again and lifted his body easily, keeping his legs on his shoulders. He slapped the boy's ass, watching Eren smile at the loud smacking sound. He yelped and wiggled his body, teasing Levi with his masculinity.

Levi grabbed his pants and pushed them down, letting his erection out. Two could play at that game, Eren.

He grabbed the boy and pinned him to the floor, with his hands over his head, and spat on his stomach. Eren watched with wide, playful eyes, tilting his torso left and right. Levi watched the spit trickle over Eren's body. He withheld swallowing for a moment, gathering up his saliva, and spit into his free hand. It was filthy, but that's exactly what he was going to make Eren.

He reached down and rubbed himself with the spit. Eren licked his lips and gasped, watching Levi please himself to him. Eren was horny, and he found he had lost the childish air of embarrassment as he watched the man stroke himself.

Levi pressed his cock against Eren's entrance and watched the boy's eyes widen. He squeezed them shut and reached up to grasp Levi's shoulders.

Levi smiled.

"Giving in so easily, Jaeger?" he teased.

He pressed at Eren and then pulled away, watching the boy's eyes fly open. Eren moaned, a look of incomprehension on his face.

Levi smirked. He pressed himself to Eren's entrance once again and the boy moaned his name.

Reached up from his neck, Eren grasped strands of Levi's hair and twisted them in his fingers. He moaned Levi's name once again, louder this time, recalling just how many nights he had whispered it into his pillow.

Levi pressed into him and Eren felt himself part. He moaned loudly, his nails digging into Levi's hand and pulling his hair.

Levi grabbed Eren's hips and pressed himself inside. Eren was warm. Eren was pure.

He pushed himself deep into Eren and felt the boy expand around him. Eren gasped out in pain and dug his fingertips into the man. Levi wrapped his arms around the boy's back and pulled him close, taking him gently. He pulled out slowly and gently eased himself back in. He had to be gentle with him, or he'd risk hurting him. And that was out of the question for Captain Levi.

Eren wrapped easily around him, moaning his name over and over. Levi kissed his neck, his cheeks, silencing his moans with his lips.

Eren moaned into his mouth and Levi began to move, tugging at Eren's hair gently and pressing their lips together. Their breaths were sharp intakes and gasp between kisses, and their sweaty bodies slipped together easily, as if that was how they were meant to be.

Levi cradled Eren and pushed deep inside him before letting out. He gasped Eren's name at his ear, feeling the boy warm in a blush against him. He cradled him against him and felt himself drain, before gently pulling out.

Eren's beautiful green eyes were closed and Levi smiled. The fire had died low and the moon had risen to its fullest outside. He held his head and looked around the mess of the room: clothes thrown everywhere, the teacup smashed, and the alcohol lying around. He shook his head and picked up Eren, carrying him to his own bed on the second story. The boy's thighs had thin streams of blood running down them and his entrance was swollen from their play. Levi smiled and brushed away the blood, bringing his fingers to his lips. Eren tasted so sweet.

The boy moaned and nestled into Levi's neck. Levi placed him in his bed and kissed him. He slid in beside him and held him: he was too excited to sleep just yet. Besides, once he was sure Eren wouldn't miss him he had to sneak back downstairs and tidy up. Squad leader Hanji was due to arrive tomorrow morning and he wasn't sure what kind of welcome she would feel with evidence of their late-night activities.

But none of that cause Levi any regrets for taking Eren. He was glad he had. And in a sick sense, he found a comfort in his squad dying. There was no way they could have done that deed quietly.

He found he a weight had lifted and a younger part of him had come forward again, a side he had tucked away some time ago. He no longer cared who knew they had been together, and he wrapped an arm around Eren. Morning would bring what it may, but in this moment, he was here for Eren Jaeger.


End file.
